What a weekend. I hope everyone else’s was awesome.

Mine could have gone worse.

Do you believe me? Yeah. Me either. At least I’m not alone in this. I’ll start with Friday, before the sun went down. There was a penguin. In a box. In my room. And said penguin used to be my pervy science teacher Mr. Marco. I already posted what he’s like, but, in case you’re behind, he won the jerk lottery and is currently at the top of my ‘not sure I really care I turned him into a penguin’ list. Anyway, I don’t know how it happened. Magic isn’t supposed to work here, that simple. That was why Mom and Dad raised me and Tommy here. To keep me safe – I won’t get into what that’s about, but, trust me, it was a sensible plan.

If Mom was here, I’d ask her. I mean…